Horses need to run free.
Birds need to fly over the sea.
Some people will try to take away your freedom.
Don’t believe their good intentions.
Blinding lights tricking your eyes.
That’s what they will try.
And you feel something ain’t right.
So defend your territory!
Put them in their cage! Criminals!
Put them in their cage!
If there’s not another way to live your life with some grace.
Put them in their cage! Aha ah!
Put them in their cage! Aha ah!
If they misbehave, I’ll show them their place.
Put them in their cage!
Lock them up, lock them up!

Recorded: 27 October 2021

If you would like to hear this song, click on the video above. It’s an a cappella ballad like most of my songs and it feels a bit like reciting a poem to me. I wrote this little song when I was 13 years old in May or June of 1992, so that’s a long time ago, it was one of the first songs I wrote in the English language because English is not my native language, but I did make a few changes to the lyrics in 2021 when I decided to re-record this song. I no longer have the original recording from 1992. To be honest, I had forgotten this song for a long time, but a very special dream from 2017 reminded me of this old song again. In this dream I tried to protect a sweet and innocent horse from a very evil man. Horses have often appeared in my dreams since childhood. This started back in 1988 when I was 10 and was bullied at school. Usually I met a black horse on the beach near the sea, but sometimes also in the city (in dreams). I believe God sends them to me. They are my guardian angels in this life. So here’s the dream from 2017 that I would like to share with you. Actually, I had already posted this dream on my blog in 2019, but in this older version some details were missing and I also found some errors in the use of English words, so I decided to post an updated version with a more accurate description of this dream and also better English (hopefully). If you’re interested, you can read my dream below.

On 20 June 2017 I got another dream
about a funfair. At the fair there is a very
large and eye-catching horse. This horse is
taller than an African elephant. He is my
companion at the fair. It’s my job to take
care of him. During a break the giant white
horse is standing on a small field next to
the fair. I sit on the ground behind him
while combing the extraordinarily long hair
on his tail. His wavy hair lies on the ground
and resembles a four meter long wedding
veil. After a while the evil boss of the fair
appears and walks to the horse. This guy
is a giant too. He has the body of a human
being, but his skin resembles the skin of a
lizard or a snake. The big boss stands right
next to the giant stallion while speaking
to the horse in a very commanding way.
I can feel the gentle giant horse is scared.
I hope the evil boss won’t be able to see
me behind the horse’s body, because I’m
much smaller. Secretly, I try to continue
trimming the hair evenly on his tail, but I
don’t have enough time to finish the job,
because the evil giant has seen me and
starts walking towards me. Suddenly his
giant body grows even bigger and taller:
maybe 30 meters tall. Obviously, he wants
to intimidate me. His skin is green and his
head is bald. The evil boss uses his giant
foot to step on me like I’m just a little
mouse and then he wants to walk on like
nothing happened. I feel humiliated, so I
get very angry and take revenge. I stretch
out my arms to hold on to his big foot and
then I pull his big leg up in the air as I start
flying higher and higher. By the way, I’ve
had the ability to fly in dreams for decades.
So the evil giant loses his balance and falls
on his back on the ground. I let go of his
foot and then I start using the power of my
mind to tie him to the ground. The startled
giant screams desperately: ‘What the fuck
is happening?!’ Magically, the earth under
the evil giant changes into a little prison or
grave pit. From the earthly ground multiple
chains appear, tying his arms, chest and legs
to the pit, so that he can’t move anymore.
His body is half buried. He looks at me and
knows I have defeated him for all eternity.
The tables are turned. I’m the boss from
now on. I start flying in circles closer and
closer to him. The skin of the evil giant has
become red or orange. It looks like the skin
of a lizard. I can see the fear in his yellow
eyes as he looks at me. The tamed evil giant
doesn’t look so very large anymore. He
looks much smaller now, maybe 4 meters
tall. Then this devil starts using the power
of his mind to discourage me coming closer
to him, so it becomes a mental telepathic
battle. But I persist and keep flying closer
and closer to his grave and when I’ve come
really close to his big head, I raise my right
hand to slap and scratch the cheek of his
face. But only one second before my hand
and fingernails reach his face, I suddenly
wake up in my bed. Everything is back to
normal again. The dream has ended.

Horses continued to appear in my dreams
in the years after 2017, so I would like to
share one more special dream I had on
28 January 2024. Like a seagull I am flying
near a big sea under a dim sky. From the
sky I see a large and dark brown or black
horse lying on the ground in front of an
unknown large building that is only about
50 meters away from the sea. I also see
an unknown male figure standing right
next to the horse. He tries to encourage
the insecure horse to get back up. I know
and remember that the horse used to be
able to fly, but due to a serious trauma
he stopped flying in the sky, so that’s why
he has been on the ground for a long time.
Surprisingly, the tired horse finally gets up
after a few minutes. We feel so relieved.
As soon as he gets back on his four legs,
he starts walking again. The horse walks
away from the unknown male figure and
walks towards me. Then I start to wonder
if he would be able to fly again. The dark
horse walks slowly at first, but soon after
he starts walking faster and faster until
he’s running like a pro again. The color of
his coat changes from dark to orange-red
and he begins to radiate more and more
light. So the risen beast is surrounded by
a large aureola. The horse is running to
me, he comes closer and closer, and then
miraculously two large bird-like wings,
hidden all the while in his thick red coat,
pressed flat against his body like a bird’s,
become visible. So the hair of its coat is
thick and long. Then suddenly the great
horse speads its enormous wings in front
of me, takes off and begins to fly again
through the air and over the sea, shining
like a white light. I’m so happy for him
and start yelling loudly, just to cheer him
on and celebrate his victory. Then the
big horse suddenly stops for a moment
while floating in the air (above the sea)
and looks at me lovingly. I’ll never forget.
There’s something human about him. It
feels like a man is looking at me, but not
an ordinary man. This being is celestial.
Maybe extraterrestrial? The risen horse is
now fully illuminated, giving him a white
ghostly appearance in the dim sky. Then
he suddenly starts flying again and flies
right past me, in what looks like a kind of
dive. I also start flying again near the sea
and coast and keep yelling loudly like a
seagull. The dim sky turns into daylight
and thousands or millions of sea animals
emerge from the sea: leaping dolphins
and other large fish and giant creatures
that resemble dinosaurs from an ancient
era. All these sea creatures are so very
happy and are jumping and swimming
in the same direction towards the shore.
They all celebrate the great return of the
flying horse. It is the biggest party I have
ever seen. Then I wake up from this wild
dream and look at my clock. It’s 9:56 AM.
After a few minutes I get up and walk to
the table in my living room and write my
dream on a piece of paper.

Was it just a dream? I absolutely loved my dream, but about two weeks later (in February) I told this dream to my mother Patricia and her reaction was quite sad. She was afraid that this meant that someone we love would say goodbye and leave us. Well, she was right.

Sadly, my godmother (Aunt Wine) passed away suddenly on 23 February 2024. She’s one of the most loving women I have ever known in this life. I have known her all my life. On 6 January 1980, when I was 1 year old, I was baptized in a Catholic church in my hometown of The Hague in the Netherlands. My mother Patricia chose Aunt Wine, her brother’s wife, as my godmother because they were close like real sisters. Aunt Wine was the best godmother you could wish for. But in December 2023 she suddenly felt very unwell in her own home in Paramaribo, the capital of Suriname, the country where my parents and other family come from. It turned out that she had an illness and therefore had to be hospitalized for weeks. The chance of survival was very small, but she miraculously managed to stay alive with the love and support of her family in Suriname. Eventually she was allowed to go home, but she still had to stay in bed all day because she was very weak. We were all hopeful that she would be able to recover, but then she suddenly passed away. We were all in shock. One of the saddest days, weeks and years of my life. So my mother called me in the middle of the night to tell me the terrible news. I’ve never heard my mother cry so loudly, even louder than when her own mother (my grandmother) passed away at the age of 95 in July 2019. It’s painful for my mother and me because after Aunt Wine’s hospitalization we did not have the chance to see her alive again. The Netherlands is far away from Suriname. But we were present at her funeral in Paramaribo on March 4. The ceremony in the Cathedral of Suriname was beautiful. It’s difficult to accept her sudden death and I often feel sad. For example, I have not recorded any new songs this year. But sometimes I still see my aunt or hear her voice in dreams, so that gives some comfort. My aunt and I visited a butterfly farm on the island of Aruba in 2012. That was her idea. So I believe she must have become a butterfly and flown to another, more loving, beautiful and peaceful world in the afterlife. God will take care of her.

Even though my godmother passed away this year, I still believe that my dream about the flying horse means something more than saying goodbye. I sincerely believe that this angel tried to tell me that something phenomenal is going to happen soon in this sad and war-torn world. He has risen from the ashes and will return to put an end to all injustice. God sent him to me so that I know there’s more between heaven and earth. There’s so much more than just material things. People are so focused on what they see on the outside. When they look at me, they see a brown or black man who is gay and that has become my main identity in this world, but what they don’t see is my spirit, my soul. God loves everyone, no matter what you look like or who you love, as long as you know the difference between good and bad. In other words, don’t be a sadist. Let another person or animal be free. Have morals, there’s nothing wrong with that. Yet I believe I won’t find God in a church, mosque, synagogue, temple or a so-called holy book. I’m not saying that a holy place where people gather is bad because it is possible to find some inspiration there, but I simply don’t consider it the ‘official’ house of God. I don’t like it when people impose their religion on me because I know that many of them are pushing a political agenda. They want power and money and want to take away the freedom of others. For thousands and thousands of years human beings lived happily without books. Now suddenly they need a holy book that tells them how they should live??? I believe there’s only one place you can find God and that is in your own heart and soul, because your spirit is a part of God or could be a part of God. So allow yourself to see what is not immediately visible on the surface of the sea. Don’t be afraid to go a little deeper. Dare to follow your dream. I’m aware that not all dreams are good as there are demonic entities that will appear in some or many dreams. I have seen them and know they will try to distract you or even harass you. But there are also good dreams. Yes, there are angelic beings in the universe. So don’t stop dreaming! Especially today, we must continue to believe that love is possible.

Thanks for reading this post and visiting my blog and feel free to check out some older posts. I have published many songs and some dreams and stories on my blog.

Ryan Maurice Roemer
Written on 20-22 November 2024

Below are two old family photos from childhood.

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