JUST OPEN THE DOOR (lyrics)
Talk about the beloved Son.
Don’t want him to be imprisoned.
Say a prayer for the only Son.
Get him out of this dirty prison!
He’s all by himself.
Why don’t you stop thinking of yourself?
Don’t you know he badly wants to come closer?
Yeah, he’s not just another fake poser.
So we’d better move one step closer!
We… we need the key to open the door.
Don’t feel scared anymore.
Just maybe there’s a way to save his life.
We must do what’s right.
A few days ago, on October 3rd, I wrote this song, and then on October 6th I made an a cappella recording of it with my smartphone. Click on the audio file below to listen to the song.
A very special event from my childhood inspired me to write this song. As a child I saw a Christ-like figure and I now wonder if this man was the real Christ himself or someone else. So in other words, did I see a supernatural being or just a mortal? It’s a rather bizarre question, I guess. After decades of carrying this secret memory around, I would like to share my story with you. My life on Earth is only temporary, so I better tell it now before it’s too late. After telling this story, I would also like to share my thoughts on the Bible, God, Satan, the concept of heaven and hell, and discrimination by fake Christians.
I was born (7 October 1978) and raised in the Netherlands. In July 1989 I was 10 years old and went on vacation to Suriname. I spent a day with my biological father who lived in Suriname. At that time he worked as a representative of the prosecution in Suriname. We drove through Paramaribo, the capital of Suriname, in his red sports car. He bought me a big white teddy bear and also a black female doll (Surinamese kotomisi doll) from a souvenir shop, because I loved dolls, even though I was a boy. I was a more girly boy, which was an early sign that I might be gay, by the way. We also went to the zoo that day and afterward I watched a movie with one of my cousins at my dad’s house in the afternoon. That same day, probably in the morning (or maybe it was the afternoon? Sorry, I don’t remember), he took me to the police station in the center of Paramaribo, because as a public prosecutor he could easily gain access there. He wanted me to see real prisoners. I thought that was a great idea and I was very curious. Inside the police station, to the left of the reception, my father showed me the jail cells at the back of the building where the prisoners were behind closed doors, so we could not see them directly, but there was a small observation window on every jail door. There was a wide corridor with prison cells on the left side and also on the right side. So we started with the cells on the left. My father lifted me up at every jail door, so that I was able to look through that little window. I saw many dark men of African descent. Those men looked at me while sitting on chairs. In most cells there was only one prisoner. I vaguely remember seeing two men in one cell. Every guy wore regular clothes: a T-shirt and pants. The men were very calm. There was also some other furniture in their cells such as a table or a bed. Finally, my father and I walked to the last jail cell on the right side of the wide corridor. He lifted me up again and I looked through that little window. I saw a man sitting on the floor, in the left corner against the wall, at the back of his room. He was the only prisoner with light brown skin and dark wavy hair down to his shoulders. I was surprised, because it was unusual for Surinamese men to have that long hairstyle and he did not look black (West African), Hindustani (Indian), Javanese or Chinese, which are the largest ethnic groups in Suriname. Or maybe he was mixed (biracial or multiracial)? So I wondered where he came from. Was this guy from Suriname or another country? Maybe a Latino from Brazil or an Arab from the Middle East? I did not know. Anyway, his cell was completely empty inside. There was no furniture (chair, table or bed) at all. There was only a small light on the ceiling. The man sat on the floor with his knees up. When he saw my eyes, he got up slowly. He was wearing a loincloth, the rest of his body was not covered. He was slim to slightly athletic and tall. Then he walked towards me, so I got scared and told my father to put me down on the floor. Then after a few seconds I asked him to lift me up again. I looked through the window again and saw the prisoner walk away, but then he turned around suddenly and walked towards me again. I got scared again and told my father that the prisoner was coming back, so I told him to put me down again. Then after a few seconds I told my father to lift me up again, so that I could look at the creepy prisoner one more time. The tall guy already walked away, but then he turned around again and came back to me! I told my father to put me down again. This went on for a while until the prisoner gave up, probably tired of this game, and didn’t turn around anymore. He walked back to the wall of his room and sat down on the floor again while leaning with his back against the wall. I asked my father to put me down again. Then we walked away and left the police station.
So this is a real-life event and not a dream, but the prisoner looked exactly like a man that I had seen in a dream in 1985, when I was 6 years old. In this dream a man reached out his hands to me and showed me the stigmata in both hands. I have talked about this before in another blog post. That’s why I wonder if this prisoner was Yeshua himself. Did the Christ appear to me in a cell at a police station in Paramaribo? This question will haunt me forever. To be honest, it took me many years to realize that the prisoner looked very much like the wounded man from my dream in 1985, although the prisoner had dark brown hair and the Christ from my dream had black hair, but I think hair color is less important, as this can change depending on the lighting in the room. They had the same type of face and body. Both men looked sweaty and wore loincloths. Why didn’t I notice this before? Strange that I was so blind. It’s one of the weirdest experiences in my life. I still can’t explain it, because it goes against all logic. I know that the historical Yeshua, who lived in the Roman province of Judaea, may have been a black African man with curly or kinky hair, but the man I saw in my 1985 dream looked different and seemed more like an Arab or a Palestinian. So which one is true? I don’t know, so the actual appearance of Christ remains a mystery. I think the Christ wanted to be recognizable to me, since I was just a little child, so that’s why he decided to appear as a more familiar version of himself, namely a man with light brown skin and long dark hair that fell to his shoulders. By the way, I believe the prisoner that I saw in 1989 was a real person and not a spirit. I’m not sure if my father saw the prisoner. Back in 2003 I asked my father in a letter if he could remember this event. He did respond to my letter, but he didn’t address my specific question about our visit to the police station. Perhaps he’d forgotten, because it took him a few months to reply. As an adult I haven’t had another opportunity to discuss this memory with my father, because I had very little contact with him after my 19th birthday. Fortunately, my mother still remembers that I was with him that day in July 1989. My cousin still remembers it too. Sadly, my father passed away on 6 January 2018, coincidentally also the day that I was baptized in a Catholic church in The Hague in 1980. As a child I did not see him often, because he lived in another country, but I do know that my father was a Christian. When I was about 9 years old, he visited my home in The Hague and gave me a present. It was a book, my first Bible, the children’s version with colorful illustrations. Most of the time I just looked at the pictures and sometimes I read stories about Genesis, Adam and Eve, David the Shepherd, the Binding of Isaac, the Nativity and Crucifixion of Yeshua, but I never read the Bible from start to finish, so there were a lot of stories about Christ that I didn’t know. Besides, the children’s version has been abbreviated quite a bit, as many stories and details from the adult version have been omitted. I was in my 20s when I decided to read the adult version of the Bible for the very first time, but I never finished the book, because I didn’t like it. Actually, I do like some parts of the New Testament, but I don’t like all that threat of making sinful people weep and gnash their teeth in Gehenna. I do not recognize Christ in these intimidating words, so I think it’s a lie. Christ never spoke in this nasty manner. It’s simply not how he thinks. He often spoke about forgiveness. Yeshua is not a sadist. I especially dislike the Old Testament because the Hebrew God is so unsympathetic, just not a nice guy at all. By the way, I don’t believe that God is an old white man with a beard who lives in heaven. In fact, I believe the real God does not look human at all. God is much greater than that. Secondly, I’ve never believed that Eve was created from Adam’s bone, which is one of the most misogynistic stories in human history. Third, a loving God would never ask a father to sacrifice his own son (Isaac) and would never kill children, as the evil Hebrew God did to Egyptian boys according to Exodus. Fourth, the Jews are not God’s chosen people. They should not have any privileges over other ethnic groups living in the Southern Levant, such as Muslim Palestinians and Arabs. That is discrimination. A loving God would love everyone. I have also never believed that the Hebrew God of the Old Testament and Christ of the New Testament are the same person. Christ never claimed to be God and never said that you should worship a human being. I believe the Bible is full of lies made up by evil men. The God mentioned in the Old Testament is not really a god, certainly not a loving one, and did not create the universe, but I do believe that Christ is an angel who came to Earth and tried to make people more tolerant of outcasts and scapegoats. He wanted to teach them about love. Gehenna is a lie. Maybe hell is a place in your heart and soul, filled with hate, but it’s certainly not a fixed physical location somewhere in the universe. A loving God would never ever create a place of eternal punishment. It’s barbaric. Evil men spin stories to put fear in your hearts. It’s simply brainwashing.
Of course, I also disapprove of the Hebrew God calling feminine homosexual men an abomination, as I’m a gay man myself. Yes, I’m glad there’s no medicine to cure me of this wonderful gay ‘disease’. Some Christians say it’s okay to have gay feelings, but not to act on them, which is even worse, because it means they want a gay man to remain single for the rest of his life. No love, no friendship. What’s the point of living if you’re forced to live by someone else’s man-made book, preventing you from being yourself and having real contact with people? Humans are social animals. Love is much older than the Torah, the Bible and the Quran. So yes, homosexuality is much older than all those books. You should not need permission from people around you just to date another adult man or woman. Another prejudice among Christians is that they call homosexuality and pedophilia the same. It’s simply a way to demonize gay men. Most gay men are not pedophiles. As a matter of fact, I think there are many more straight men who are pedophiles. So where does this prejudice against gay men come from? Perhaps from the negative Christian rhetoric about homosexuality in ancient Greece? Were all gay men in Greece really pedophiles? Because that seems to be what many people think. Or is that just a lie from homophobic Christian historians? Are Christians so much better? Why is there so much child abuse by priests and nuns in churches? Well, it’s a complicated subject and I won’t blame the sins of these churches on Christ because he never supported pedophilia. Although I’m very critical and skeptical of the Bible and the church, I still love Yeshua because I believe he would never bully or discriminate homosexual men, women or black people. He said that you should treat others the way you would like to be treated. Love your neighbor as yourself. Christ also disapproved of casting stones at women and scapegoats. In other words, he was a very peaceful and nonviolent man, probably an Essene (follower of John the Baptist). The Essenes were ascetics who were often unmarried and chose to remain single. So it saddens me that millions of mean-spirited people call themselves ‘Christians’, even though they clearly are not, and use Christ’s name to oppress LGBTQI, women and black people, because that was never Yeshua’s intention. Everything they do is the opposite of what Christ wanted to teach people. He never supported toxic hypermasculinity or white supremacism. In fact, he was not a white man. So people who do evil in Christ’s name are fascists and followers of the Antichrist, not of Christ. In other words, they are not real Christians.
I think I know who the devil is, because I have met him in dreams too. So I know the difference between Christ and the devil. And let me tell you, the devil does not look like a red-skinned or dark-skinned man with horns on his head, as we always see in paintings, illustrations and movies. The devil is much more likely to appear on Earth as an attractive light-skinned person in a suit and tie, because he will try to gain your trust. He knows that many people will look at him, listen to him and worship him. I believe that the Antichrist would choose to appear as a man and not a woman because white men tend to get more attention in our misogynistic and racist society. Moreover, evil is more present in men than in women. I know that many women can be violent psychopaths too, for example, female soldiers in the IDF aka IOF (Israeli Occupation Forces) which is committing genocide in Gaza in Palestine, but throughout human history most criminals (especially top criminals) have been men. It’s easier to seduce men into committing evil acts because most men simply cannot express tender emotions and want to make a lot of money quickly. They can’t give love because they are too selfish and that’s why this world is a mess. The Antichrist is the worst man of all. He is the most toxic male role model for young men and boys you can imagine. He will teach them to become narcissists. That’s why he deserves to be called the Antichrist. He will divide and conquer, support gun violence and instigate wars. He will never try to create a safe world for children because he doesn’t care about them. We are just numbers to him. This is the evil entity that y’all are dealing with. Wake up, people! The great castle is on fire! It seems like Gehenna or hell is a place on Earth right now, but it was not always like this, so where and when did it go wrong? I can imagine that many people believe this world was created by Satan and not by a loving God, as there is too much suffering on Earth. There have been too many genocides throughout history. I think one of the first genocides was the mass murder of Neanderthals, the original indigenous population of Europe and West Asia, about 40,000 years ago. They have been demonized and dehumanized by modern humans (Homo sapiens) who do not call them fully human, just as they did with black Africans in previous centuries. Sadly, there are still millions of white supremacists (e.g. Mormons) who believe that me and my African ancestors are not fully human and therefore have no right to happiness and freedom. They believe that black people are closer to monkeys because their faces look different and because many African countries are underdeveloped technologically and economically. So they think that most black people have a lower IQ. By the way, why do white supremacists think being related to monkeys is bad? I think monkeys are amazing and very intelligent animals. Now back to Neanderthals: in the 21st century Western scientists still believe Neanderthals are a different race or species (Homo neanderthalensis). It is believed they had a lower IQ because their brains functioned differently and they lived a simple life. Well, I don’t find this theory convincing. I think Neanderthals were simply a different ethnicity. When I see images of reconstructed Neanderthals, I see real people. On a side note, scientists say that Neanderthals were short because the average height for males was 1.68 meters (5’6″). But the average height for males in the Roman Empire (about 2,000 years ago) was the same. So in a period of roughly 38,000 years most modern humans (Romans) had not grown taller? I thought they were much taller than Neanderthals, so it doesn’t make any sense. Anyway, I suspect Neanderthals were massacred because they did not have Caucasian facial features. After the genocide of the Neanderthals by the so-called Caucasian Cro-Magnons, who probably originated from the Caucasus, many more genocides took place worldwide. So it makes sense that many people believe this world must have been created by Satan. But I’m inclined to believe that this world was originally created by a loving God and then hijacked by an evil spirit or a group of evil spirits who somehow managed to fill people’s hearts with hatred. So people decided to worship the wrong spirit(s). The irony is that all these mean-spirited people think they are entitled to go and live in an imaginary heaven somewhere in the clouds or some other dimension. But what will happen to this heavenly place when it’s filled with millions of nasty people from Earth? Well, this heaven would soon become a hellhole too, because if people have hatred in their hearts and souls while living on Earth, then all that hatred will not suddenly disappear when they fly to heaven in the afterlife. So I would definitely stay away from their ‘heaven’, because it’s not a real heaven. It’s the grand illusion.
Now back to my story about the prisoner in 1989. Perhaps the prisoner in a cell in Paramaribo was just an ordinary man who happened to look a lot like the Yeshua figure from my dream in 1985. But why did he behave that way? His behaviour was so different from all other prisoners at that police station. He tried to get closer to me, while the others did not! Even though he was just a mortal and not Christ himself, I believe that God sent him to me at that moment because God wanted to tell me something. And the message is, I guess, don’t forget about Christ! He has been abused by people for centuries, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. These Satanists changed Christ’s original identity and name (probably African or Asian) and turned him into a European blond ‘Jesus’. They misinterpreted his teachings and used them to commit and justify atrocities around the world. So I wonder if Christ appeared in my dreams because he wants me to help him restore his name and focus on his original message. By the way, this real-life event from 1989 was the reason for getting a recurring dream about visiting a Christ-like figure in prison when I was a teenager in high school in the 90s. But that’s another story.
Love,
Ryan Maurice Roemer
October 2025
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Thank you for reading this blog post. If you’re interested in reading some of the older articles I wrote about God, Christ, angels and the devil, please click on one of the links below.
Ryan Maurice Roemer 